BDSM Collar Rule Master Slave

Text version…

She is always collared. It’s a simple necklace with a simple chain but it holds great meaning.

She was very scared about how thin the chain is but there are reasons for everything.

With her day collar we have a rule.

If the chain gets broken for any reason we have a conversation about our relationship and decide if we want to continue or end it.

If we continue with our relationship we redo a whole new contract to our new preferences. Doing this I’ve noticed helps with building our communication.

~ Master Axis

Reviewing your dynamic

This rule got me thinking about reviewing your relationships and going over your wants, needs, desires, rules and/or your entire contract (if you decided to have one). Here are a few points on this:

When – in the beginning it’s wise to do this often, say weekly, then monthly, then perhaps every six months or annually … or perhaps earlier if the collar gets broken 😉

What to talk about – what’s working for you, what parts are not working and changes you would like. A good question to ask: does this make me happy?

I recently stumbled upon an interesting book called Radical Alignment. The authors, Alex Jamieson & Bob Gower, propose this formula for ANY hard conversation: discuss your

1. intentions
2. boundaries
3. fears and
4. dreams.

Whilst not related to power exchange, this does offer great methodology for structuring your conversation.

How – it doesn’t have to be face to face. Feel free to converse over the phone or through writing if you find it easier. Personally, I think better in writing, so that works for us.

Where – in a private space where you won’t be disturbed, away from prying eyes and ears. This will offer you the comfort to open up, as opposed to trying to tone it down in a coffee shop for example.

I would love to hear your experiences in reviewing your dynamic. Do you have any tips for others?

~ Liliana