Dom Sub Rules & Ideas for BDSM Relationships

A Dom/sub (D/s) relationship is where one person (the submissive) gives power to another (the Dominant) over certain parts of erotic, sexual or kinky play and/or aspects of their life.

There are many types of D/s dynamics. In a very general sense, there’s:

  • play only – where the power exchange is limited to scenes only and doesn’t extend beyond the dungeon or bedroom;
  • part time D/s – for example weekends only;
  • 24/7 – where the Dom always has control within the limits of the agreement. May not include micromanagement or TPE;
  • micromanaged – an arrangement where even the smallest actions like bathroom use are controlled by the Dom;
  • total power exchange (TPE) – authority is given to the D-type over all aspects of the sub’s life. The sub retains only the power to walk away.

Once you know how involved you wish to be, here are some example rules which others have used to create and deepen their dynamic.

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How this works?

Short and Sweet BDSM Rule Ideas for Dom Sub Relationships

Here are some some quick rule ideas for creating and maintaining power exchange relationships.

Many have been submitted by others. Where no name is mentioned, the person wished to remain anonymous.

Daily greetings

Miss must Meet Sir at the door for greetings daily, with outfit of Sir’s choice.

~ Miss Phoenix

Addressing the Dom

Submissive will always address Dominant as “Sir” and keep my eyes respectfully lowered.

Sub’s Collar

A rule that I’d like is that I would be expected to wear my collar necklace at all times.

~ Susan

Not a mind reader

Always communicate what you like. Never be silent if you don’t like anything your partner does. No one is a mind reader.

~ J

Chastity

My main rule is chastity for my submissive, which I control. This is most appealing because it was her idea to submit this ownership to me and relinquish all control.

~ Dominus

Sub’s hygiene rules

Submissive will keep herself cleaned and shaved and/or waxed at all times.

~ Trap and Harley

Kneel at the bed

Kneel at the side of the bed at night waiting to be invited in or instructed to sleep on the floor – power over the sub is a big turn on for me.

Before anything starts

First thing upon meeting with My subs, I ask for an expression of affection, like a hug. This has us focus first on our loving relationship before we delve deep into D/s protocols.

~ Sir Eric LeFavre

sub’s sexual training

The Dom will undertake to train the sub in the sexual activities that the Dom desires her to perfect, so that she may serve him better.

Breakfast on demand

I must make my Dom breakfast on demand (timing varies from day to day) – throws a random “spanner” into timings for completing other routine chores.

Proper frame of mind

The Dominant agrees to not submit the submissive to a session when he might not be in the proper frame of mind to administer it.

Thanking Sir

The submissive will always thank Sir after play, or sexual use.

sub’s journal rule

My Dom likes me to write in my journal to see my personal thoughts and fears. We use it as a tool for communication.

~ Sweet baby cakes

Respect

So many have forgotten how important respect is in every day Life. Being in this lifestyle also requires respect from both parts.

~ Knighthawk45

Dom’s care of the sub

The Dominant will always be open to the submissive’s concerns and thoughts, worries and stresses, and will encourage her to always open up and express her feelings and concerns to him without fear of punishment.

Send Dom a pic

Sub should send a pic when wake up and just before sleep.

~ Henry

Greet me on arrival

Greet me on arrival on knees ready to serve – I enjoy the sub being available for use immediately I arrive home.

Dom and sub to exercise

We tend to keep exercise in the contract as a form to keep any motivation. (I.e 30mins-hr daily exercise is required).

~ Ian